Wednesday, September 19, 2012

"Become Who You Receive."

There is a parish off-island in which I feel at home.  The first time I went to this particular parish it was so my son could receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation prior to his First Communion.  It is a moderately-sized parish run by the Carmelite order, and I have been nothing but impressed by the priests whom I have met there.  And the parishioners - friendly in a non-pretentious, natural sort of way:  ready smiles, look you in the eye and say "Good Morning", a wide-range of ages, lots of real "community" spirit.  And the Mass is celebrated with great care and reverence, the rubrics are attended to, the Tabernacle is in plain view directly behind the altar.  Now, about the music :-)...but nothing in life is perfect!

We were traveling this past weekend, just taking a quick weekend trip.  I made it down for the 9am Mass, and their new Pastor had finally arrived, this being his first weekend at the parish.  Well, he started things off with a bang, good solid homily beginning with a story to drive home the point that we need to know who we are (by virtue of our Baptism), and that he could talk in such a radical way about the Real Presence - and he did speak strongly about the Eucharist - because he knew who he was.  We were challenged to know who we are and to act on that knowledge.  There were a couple hiccups in the technical running, which he handled well - the sacristan had apparently forgotten to include a corporal (oops!), which Fr. J then had to disappear into the sacristy to find, and the altar servers were not accustomed to some of his preferences.  But I am glad this parish has a good, orthodox priest who doesn't seem afraid to speak on Catholic doctrine.  The Western Discalced Carmelites seem to form their priests quite well.  This weekend I'll see if he is on par in regard to the Sacrament of Reconciliation with the two other OCD priests I've met at this parish. 

One thing Fr. J said, and I do believe I have heard it somewhere before, is that when we receive the Eucharist, we should "Become Who [we] receive".   I have of late been focusing on the Eucharist, and my worthy reception.  I carefully prepare by really paying attention during the parts of the Liturgy leading up to the Eucharist - my son and I have studied the Liturgy closely this summer, so this certainly has increased my awareness of many things - and then saying prayers of preparation as I wait.  I have noticed over the past few weeks that I feel an enormous sense of anticipation in this waiting but it is mixed in with an equally enormous sense of awe of what (who) I am about to receive.  I have begun the practice of kneeling to receive, which I came to after much study and prayer and thought.  It only seems proper to kneel when I receive my Lord.  When I arrive back at my pew/chair, though, it is almost like a post-adrenaline feeling of shakiness.  I tremble, my hands shake, I have to kneel or sit down.  I don't see how people can continue to stand when within them is Jesus - Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity.  I'm certain someone could discuss the psychological aspects of this feeling I have, but all I can say is I completely understand the stories I have heard of many saints who could not get through the Mass without tears - and their desire to immediately say or participate in another Mass of thanksgiving, for there are times I could sit for 30 minutes or more, just sit with my Lord, and be with Him as he physically resides within me.





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