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Thursday, November 24, 2011

An experience of Matthew 14:17-21 (a Lectio Divina experience)

"All we have"...."they all ate and were satisfied."

If someone welcomes you, STAY with them.  If they open their door, accept their love.
Travel light so you are willing to accept what is offered and given to you.
Engage others, accept and give, from the openness of your heart, knowing you are fullest when you empty yourself of extra things.

Bless what you have -- it is enough and more.

Simplicity and acceptance, bring fulfillment and satisfaction.

"You shall my shield and fortress be, as long as life endures."

Jesus, sitting behind me -- it is OK to trust, it is also OK to be afraid and uncomfortable.  He took my hands in his, and just sat with me until I was able to relax.  He is with me always, and his angels watch over.

Metanoia (January 2011)

I knew you were there, but I chose not to see,
whispering inside my heart as I chose not to hear.

How our lives can take a turn
to open our eyes and ears
to the blinding light
and deafening sound

which all the time had been inside us.

Our own road to Damascus
in the desert of our hearts,
where the dry winds and arid land
deny your life-giving existence.

Awaken us to your your light.
Call us so we may answer.
Lead us by the hand

back to you

who have been in our hearts all this time
without our knowing.

December 2010 - An Experience of Franciscan Prayer Style

Oh, Lord, open my soul, my heart, and let them be filled with you.  Allow me to be open to the workings of your Spirit, that I may know your will for me."

This prayer-style has brought out of me and intense, almost overbearing at times, feeling of longing, desiring, reaching.... What began as fear has transformed into desire - but desire for what?  Longing for what?  For what am I reaching?

Complete trust has always been difficult and challenging for me - in this prayer-style this trust is requisite.  In order to go beyond where I am, I must trust God, allow myself to be held by Him, let go of me and go to Him.

This is so intense and so hard.  I'm not sure I have the strength and courage to take that next step into what feels like a vast expanse of nothing.  Structure, rigidity, walls and floors keep me safe within them.  Familiar prayers, guidelines to follow, help me feel safe with my God.  To let them go, to leap, to fly, to trust that I will either fly or be caught brings up old fear as I struggle with my tightly bound feet to go to the light, the freedom, that can only be found with Trust In Him.

Fear not (from 12/2010)

So many times I am afraid to speak, I feel the familiar knot in my throat which holds all my passion and all my words inside of me.  It is the knot of fear.  I desire to trust you, Oh Lord, to truly believe and live under the words you say to me: "Fear not, for I am with you."  To know, beyond any doubt, that you have called me by name, that I am yours.  I long to trust these feelings, these feelings that you are always there no matter what, that I am precious to you and that you love me.  To trust that if I place myself in your hands, you will be there to catch me, that your love will support me and hold me and comfort me.  Your are my Lord, my God, my Savior...and that should be enough.

Time to Wait (from 9/2010)

I have received an invitation
my name engraved in gold
a light bright with heavenly warmth
calling me in from the cold.

Upon the beat of angel's wings
a song begins to grow
rising from so deep within
are tears which fill my soul.

I wait and wait with patient breath
to know for what I'm called
feeling the mighty arms of Him
around my heart in guard.

Before He sends His message true
my heart so soft must be
so in His hands I place my trust
and close my eyes to see.

My Lord

You are my light, you are my life.
No more does darkness encircle me.
Your embrace a shield of safety
Against evil which surrounds.
Your kiss: courage, as the enemies approach.
You are my love, you are my Lord.
My fear diminishes at your touch.