Oh, Lord, open my soul, my heart, and let them be filled with you. Allow me to be open to the workings of your Spirit, that I may know your will for me."
This prayer-style has brought out of me and intense, almost overbearing at times, feeling of longing, desiring, reaching.... What began as fear has transformed into desire - but desire for what? Longing for what? For what am I reaching?
Complete trust has always been difficult and challenging for me - in this prayer-style this trust is requisite. In order to go beyond where I am, I must trust God, allow myself to be held by Him, let go of me and go to Him.
This is so intense and so hard. I'm not sure I have the strength and courage to take that next step into what feels like a vast expanse of nothing. Structure, rigidity, walls and floors keep me safe within them. Familiar prayers, guidelines to follow, help me feel safe with my God. To let them go, to leap, to fly, to trust that I will either fly or be caught brings up old fear as I struggle with my tightly bound feet to go to the light, the freedom, that can only be found with Trust In Him.
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